A Diligent Student’s Distress in English-Medium Instruction Classes: A Longitudinal StudyI was so embarrassed because I could only say, “I agree with you.” Oh, I hope I will be able to speak.I spoke more than last time, but I could only give the answers I had prepared beforehand. For unprepared questions, I could only respond with “Sorry, I don’t know.” I understood the question, but I realized I could not turn into English what I wanted to say,then I went panic, and thought I was over. It was so depressing that Thursday was coming again, and I thought, if it was too painful,it would be OK to take an absence. But I made itand it was good.Satomi:Maybe..., in September, when classes started, I could work hard, I mean, I felt like I just had to work hard.But since October, I got used to the class, and I was taking other classes, and ... I got tired. I got tired, yeah.It’s like, I was at this level, and the class level is at this level ［hand gesture］, and in September, I understood how much I had to work to get over the class. In September, I was able to put my effort into filling that part without any burden. Yeah, I was able to do that.But from October, EVEVEVABEVORCAEVABCAEVREEVORORORABCAREOREVEVOR49Excerpt 7, third-week journal: “I understood the question, but...”Excerpt 8, fourth-week journal: The unbearable distress.Excerpt 9, final interview: Absence is an option.Satomi’s weekly journals in the initial few weeks expressed her feeling of embarrassment at not being able to give her opinion nor participate in the discussion （Excerpt 6）, and she responds to questions by only saying, “Sorry, I don’t know,” although she could have answered in her L1 （Excerpt 7）. This occurred, despite the fact that she prepared for the class “perfectly.” This affective state became unbearable distress （Excerpt 8）. Gradually, she becomes “tired” of being anxious and starts wishing to be absent from classes （Excerpt 9）.
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